As an introverted child, I always felt different. Sometimes it even felt like I was not from this world. I didn’t like the same things as most of my classmates. I didn’t view the world in the same way that they did.
Growing up, this feeling got stronger. While many people liked hanging out in big groups, I found myself more comfortable talking with just one or two friends. I knew this was the case, but I didn’t know how to voice it. Every time I tried explaining this feeling to people, my words seemed lost on them.
On constant search to finding out who I am, since no body else seems to know, I came across a personality type website. This site asked me more than one hundred questions and provided me with four letters: INFP.
INFP – Introvert, INtuitive, Feelings, Perception. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.
As I read the INFP description, it blew me away. It was like I was reading the diary of someone who had been stalking me the past 10 years. I learned that the test is called the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). As a sceptic, I searched far and wide for more MBTI resources. At first, I was afraid that the letters INFP were just a lucky guess, but many sources validated my test results. Once I read more about my personality, I understood why I love reading about philosophers and why I stay up reading about if aliens exist. How come I feel like I just don’t fit in sometimes, and no one understands me. Why I cry when a fictional character dies. How I can daydream for hours and just get carried away when I’m in nature. It’s like I just discovered the answer to the question- Why.
Reading personal stories from people who identify them as INTPs made me feel warm and fuzzy. I thought it was stupid for me to be thinking about ALL the things I was thinking. I thought no human being in their right mind would have so many questions. Little did I know, it’s alright- I’ve got 4% of the human population who are wired like me. FOUR PERCENT- Isn’t that crazy? I don’t need fixing- this feeling I’m feeling isn’t temporary, it’s who I am. And it’s okay.
I just recently wrote about how I’m always inbetween- neither here nor there. Reading about INFPs, I would describe us in one word ‘Paradox‘. Extremely Sensitive yet, strong. Innocent like child yet, thoughtful like philosopher. Introverted yet, loves to connect with people. Lost in their dreamy world yet, great observers.
It’s burdensome and rewarding at the same time.
I feel the emotions of others as strongly as if they were my own.
I sense when something is wrong, even with strangers, and feel compelled to help, so I do… Sometimes forget to save something for myself.
I feel love intensely, deeply, in every form. I get overwhelmed by love.
I love to love.
Those whom I adore can count on my adoration and support forever, but I don’t need to be in contact with you often and quite prefer that you don’t demand that of me. (Don’t call me too much.)
Injustice and the suffering of others causes me deep despair.
I have many friends, but only a few close friends.
I will never judge you for anything. Ever.
I lose myself in beautiful things, smells, thoughts, tastes, touches – they take my breath away… but I become ungrounded and unglued.
I’m extremely sensitive to personal space and feel very uncomfortable when people force their presence upon me.
I love children and animals because they’re so honest.
I’m a poet, an artist, a musician.
I’m a dog whisperer.
I look you in the eye when you talk.
You naturally tell me your problems, because you know I will listen and care.
I express myself much better in written form than verbal.
Color affects me viscerally.
I am very much an individual and suffer under micromanagement.
I take much pride in my individualism and creativity.
I’m prone to depression, as the coldness of the world overwhelms my sense of compassion.
Often I feel misunderstood and alone and lonely, even when with people.
I’m more comfortable with a small group of close friends than large groups.
I’m startled and unnerved by loud noises.
I’m disenchanted with fake, dishonest people.
I lack the skills of time management, financial management, and organization, especially struggling with errands and everyday tasks.
If I love you, I love you deeply and will do anything for you.
(My feelings are valid- yay!)
If you haven’t taken a personality test, I highly recommend you do. Especially if you want to better understand who you are as a person or others around you. HERE